By: Natalie Jensen, Supervisee in Social Work
I once had someone ask, “Will this [grief] ever go away or be done?” My honest answer was simple, “I don’t know that it ever goes away or is done, but it does become different.”
You may have taken some time to consider what it might be like to give intentional space for grief. You may even have decided that you would like to step forward into processing on a different level.
Wherever you are, you are right where you are meant to be in this moment. There is no “right” or “wrong” answer. It is your answer. So it goes with grief and loss. While each experience is different, some shared human needs do exist. By tuning in and being intentional, we can honor those needs on the path toward a “different” relationship with grief.
Every human experience includes grief – our internal processes, thoughts, and feelings about the loss and our life in the “after.” This can be personal recollections of times together with our loved one, meaningful emotions, how they made us feel, longing for their voice, their presence, their help with the chores around the house they always took care of, remembering something they always said, hearing a song that was “just us.” Our internal thoughts and feelings may also be ones that resonate with pain, relief, resentment, hurtful exchanges, things left unsaid, or relationships that were jagged at best. These are no less than any others – they are all the internal process of grief.
Grief, Loss & Life: A Processing Group for Adults (Virtual)
Our human experience also includes the need to mourn (our outward expression of grief). No matter the loss type, the outward sharing of inward feeling is necessary. But, it does not mean we all activate it in the same way. In fact, part of the unique journey we undertake is finding with whom and how we share with others. It is, however, a part of processing that needs to be heard and witnessed.
For some experiencing long-term illness, the outward expression becomes anticipatory and happens in little and big ways each day. For others, outward expression begins around a funeral, memorial, or ceremony marking the death of a loved one. Many find that the sharing of stories, tales, and memories exist in daily interactions. Sometimes, triggering events will force a recounting of painful loss within a community. Still yet, there may be those of us who search and cannot find where it is safe to be our mourning selves. All these things (and more) are possibilities when it comes to mourning.
In a safe and sacred space, there is freedom to be “you”, both grieving and mourning, without judgment. Our upcoming grief group cycle, which will run Jan-Feb 2022, will be just such a space.
You are invited to journey with others in a community of support and encouragement. The journey is yours to explore –and you do not have to take that step alone.
If you are interested in learning more about our upcoming group or have questions, you can contact me at natalie@sunstonecounselors.com.
